Seasons Change

I feel the bite of Autumn pushing through now, there is a cold in the air and I feel like I am starting again in many ways.  For the last 6 weeks I have been drained by the Magneet festival.  After the festival last year, I was so tired and needing to go home.  I felt flickers of the same feeling, like I just want to go home and curl up and rest.  I have no home though, each time I feel I need to escape, I realise I cant.  My plans have been flipped upside down.  I was certain I would get the job working at a cafe in the French Alps for the Winter, I travelled 12 hours on a bus to London to really give them my heart and passion on why I would be perfect for it.  I didn´t get the job.  So this is where I am right now, a little down, a little daunted and still very drained from the Magneet......

My mind is all over the place, I am quickly making plans on how I can look after myself this winter.  My tool for an income which is busking, is reduced massively in the cold weather and quiet season.  I could try and find work at bars and coffee shops as a musician, but it seems there are a select few places that have live music, and the rest just don't bother.  The few places are fully booked for months ahead and it is quite a closed music scene.  I have a heart full of music to bring to this city, but I still feel I am at a learning phase.  Me not getting the job in the alps is because I wasn't ready to be employed as a musician, I still need to sharpen my abilities and repatoire.

There is a lot keeping me in Amsterdam, a beautiful girl, the freedom, the bikes, the beauty, the friends, the bridges, the water, the music, the party and all the roads that are opening up to me.  But something daunts me about staying here for the Winter.  It is a magical city that I love dearly, but I feel it's time to start the next page of my travelling adventure.  I want to go to a place where the music is everywhere, in the bars, on the streets, in the hearts, and their feet.  A place I have always felt a strong attraction to.  A place just next door, that I know many people from, but have never been.  It's time to go to Ireland.

My plan is to stay in Amsterdam until November, I still have things to do here I feel.  Record an album with Cato, get involved in the music nights of the new squatted music hub 'Valdreep', and say a long farewell to a city that has been a big part of me understanding more about the world, life and myself and filled my heart with beautiful friends, memories and experiences.  I know whenever I return, it will feel like I have never been away.  I felt the city loved me like I loved her, she would look after me well, and make me feel truly blessed to be here.  I've sang my heart out to her from her bridges and tunnels and festival fires.  I've slept on the ground in the light of her moon.  I've got lost a million times but always found what I didn't know I was looking for.  I have truly felt a part of Amsterdam, and she will always be a part of me.