Out of the desert and into the rain..

My body and mind are all in different places and what makes it worse is that all of them are aching to be with Nizha.  It was so fast how it happened, me leaving.  For weeks we were trying and planning to get back to Europe, then I get a phone call on skype from my friend and she says she will help with my ticket.  From that moment we had to rush and pack my stuff and then I started a 4 day journey to get back to Europe.  From San Carlos to Salta to Buenos Aires to Madrid to London to Liverpool to Berlin to Amsterdam.  All this movement has been constant, and tiring.  But you find the energy from somwhere to keep going.  But when that fades, the reality hits you.  You question wether you made the right choice when your true love is again, far far away.

There were times in the desert when I would dream of Amsterdam, riding my bike, drawing in De Graal.  I missed the music of Liverpool, English and my friends.  And now I am here, it is all shit.  Nothing is good without Nizha, the music is empty, the bike ride lonely and my heart constantly aches.  But I believe it was the right thing to do to come here.  The economy is so hard in Argentina it was impossible to make 2000 for us both to get here, but me being here I have a way to make money and bring her here.  And right now, that is my only mission.  I also think a little time away is a good thing, it allows you to see what you truly want.  And alls I want is Nizha..

We are like 2 bodies living as a single entity.  Inspereable and telepathic.  I swear there were times when she read my mind.  She knows me better than I know myself.  My partner in every way. My true love, I know this because I have still not seen a girl as beautiful and never will.  My best friend, my writing partner, my drawing partner, my wife, my travelling partner and my bandmate.  She is everything to me, and without her I rot.  Truly.  But now I am focused, a few more days in Amsterdam then back to Liverpool to work and busk hard so that in a few weeks she can be here.

When I first got to the desert I felt so much inspiration to write songs, the mountains in the window and perfect isolation.  I came up with lots of ideas and when fused with Nizha they would become so special.  A Desert Prayer is the 'big song'on the album that goes on a journey to many different sections.  They started off as different songs but we put them together to make something grand.  Every idea I would have would be driven by wanting to make Nizha smile and say 'Oooh that's a good one' and then when she would write melodies and string arrangements that would make me go 'WOW'.  We are a great writing team, she would inspire me to push myself further and do something even better than I ever had and could before.  No song on that album is weighted towards one of us.  Each one is a stereo mix of both of us.  Half of me, half of Nizha.  Like our baby.  She would help me with melodies, and I would help her with lyrics, she would give me the guidance for direction and I would come up with some nice chord changes.  Everything was written and inspired and made by both of us, my true writing partner.

I would also draw these pictures, these strange mazes of black and white which were very interesting.  One time I messed one up by trying to put colour into it.  I asked her if she could rescue it by colouring it in, and then I watched as she breathed life and colour and harmony to these drawings.  Again, I smiled knowing that we were bonded again creatively.  I draw the lines and she brings them to life.  She is the colour of my world.

I don't have energy to write anymore.  My stomach is empty and heart is heavy.  Miss my girl like crazy and need to head out into the rain to make some coins.

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