Saturday, 13 April 2013

When you light your cigarette from a candle, a sailor dies at sea.

When you light your cigarette from a candle, a sailor dies at sea.

That is a Polish superstition.  I was sitting in De Graal yesterday and overheard it.  First I got to tell you about De Graal.  Out of all the Coffee Shop culture in Amsterdam, De Graal is by far the most like I imagined a coffee shop would be in my dreams.  It is like going into a friends house.  Comfy chairs all around, fish tanks, a dancing chameleon who eats grass hoppers, a recording studio and the best coffee and cheapest weed in town!  It really is that good, but not only for those reasons.  It is because it is an environment that nurtures creativity.  Chess and Draught boards everywhere, people writing and drawing.  I have filled almost 2 pads worth with drawings and scribblings.Within the next few days I will be uploading some and putting an artwork section on the website.  I have scribbled some interesting scribblings which make some nice imagery for The Dead Sea Captain.

Sometimes I feel incredibly low and challenged by the uncertainty of my lifestyle.  Everyday your world changes, it is a different day every single day.  You have no financial security whatsoever.  It rains on a blue sky the moment you set out to go busking.  It is completely uncertain.  You can have to find somewhere to sleep at 8pm, and end up shivering in a garden shed.  But it is addictive.  You feel like you are in a different mentality that completely lets go of all your old beliefs, pride, ignorance, politics, everything.  You suddenly just start apprreciating each action that would usually be uniform.  You listen to peoples music, rather than showing your own tastes.  You just open yourself up to this world much wider.

Amsterdam is alive.  Whenever I am at a low the city seems to just pick me up.  By running into someone you know, to making a good earn from busking, to meeting beautiful strangers, a phonecall from a friend, a free drink from a beautiful barmaid, total strangers giving you 50 euroes.  It is an exciting ride Amsterdam, and watching it bloom in the spring is a beautiful harvest for a street musician who spent the Winter in its cold snowy emptiness.  But I still found the challenging beauty shine bright in its deeper layers of people and experiences.  I love this city with all my heart, and respected it.  Tried my best in wonder to understand it.  But just enjoyed and rode the very special experience of this magical city through the 4 seasons.

At this moment I am torn.  It has been a great ride.  But sometimes you have to step off the ride for a bit.  My heart is calling me back to Liverpool.  I want to spend around a month in Liverpool charging my batteries, saving some money, busking with an amp, being around my beautiful friends and going to live music every night.  Going to Sound City. Fill myself up on some comforts of home, without feeling a rush to get back to this mentality.  It is tiring when your plans and day and thoughts change every single day, and you feel you can't do enough to sustain a normal living life.  Though it may be in a romantic musical wrapping, but busking is begging.  And that puts you lower than the task to have your own place and feel a security.  Everything is temporary and unpredictable.

Queens day here is a massive celebration I have heard so much about.  It is a huge celebration over the city, and Beatrix is passing the throne to the new King!  I feel that would be a perfect way to finish the ride at this moment.  I suppose Liverpool will be a good thinking time.  I can plan what I want to do next.  Maybe come back to Amsterdam, Maybe Switzerland, Maybe Berlin or Ireland.  I just don't know at this point.  I just feel tired and a bit down from some experiences here.  I hope my experiences and admiration here is documented as true as I could share in my utter love for this magical and beautiful city.  I fell in love on every level.  I have become a stronger person on so many levels.  I will always be drawn here like a magnet.  But for now, it is time to take an 18 hour bus ride home...........

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