Sunday, 23 April 2017

Don´t Doubt....Just do, and see it through.

I wrote that in my journal, I reckon it has a nice ring to it.  Anyway, I was putting off going busking all day today.  Just sat and coloured for hours, spoke to the boys about life, but knew I needed to go as I did not have one penny to my name.  I spent it all last night on a new hairtcut at my favourite Turkish Barber and a few Rothaus Pils at Artliners.

Feeling good with my new ´do´.  There is this guy who cuts it who is such a character.  An old guy of about 60 with big white hair with some black bits and lots at the front like a skunk do.  Hard to explain, but he is one stylish guy.  When he cuts he snips the scissors so rhythmically and hypnotically taking such care with every snip.  There was another guy in front of me, but he called me over first because he remembers me.  Bit by bit the new me is coming together.

April has been a month where you can feel Winter and Spring co-exist in one day.  Out one window it is cloudy, cold and murkey, and out the other side its sunny warm and bright.  Just as I left the hair dressers it became Spring again.  I sat and drunk a beer in my usual Spetty, checked my hair and wrote a little bit as I felt the warmth in the sun fill my bones.  I then made the walk to Artliners and there was a good band warming up, so I smoked a little, drunk a little, listened to the first set and then left in a great frame of mind.

I have been giving money to every homeless guy who gets on the ubahn, I just think it is a positive seed to sew, they must have a hard day and night, and when they get a euroe or 2 euroe coin it puts a nice smile on their face (most of them anyway)  I was one euro short for a Doner Kebab.  I hadn´t really ate since my breakfast and thought it the best investment with the last of my geld.  I found a nice Gemuse place close to Warschauer and there were a couple of guys outside it.  I say "Alright boys, would you like to keep the positive and beautiful vibe of Berlin going by giving me a euro so I can get a kebab"  One shook his head straight away and looked away, the other had a smile, took out 2 fifty cents,.and gave them to me.  I smiled, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Danke, buddy".  It was a good Doner aswell

But anyhoo, today I was putting it off and slowly getting the busking stuff ready.  I just thought ´fuck it, come on´.  I got on the train unsure of which station to hit, I had hit my fave nearly every night this week.  Then just as we got to FWP, I felt the urge to jump off and try here.  Always trust your instinct I thought and made my way up.  I would have been happy with a few euroes to get online, it is Sunday and im not expecting to make much, I just wanted a practice for tomorrows gig more than anything.  In less than an hour, I sold all my CD´s, this girl sat and listened and filled me with such lovely praise and good words.  The new set is sounding really good and I am so happy I am on my own again, I feel this voice come out from deep inside me, which is hard to bring when you are always playing with people.

So, I am playing a gig tomorrow with me good mate Dave Gaffney, it´s at a lovely little bar in Friedericshain and this last week I have been getting a set together that is what wants to come out of me.  For me, my favourite singers are the fearless ones.  People who express themselves how they feel deep down.  People like Tom Waits, Neil Young, Kurt Cobain, David Bowie, John Lennon.  They got out of them what was inside now matter how rough around the edges.  I am learning to be as fearless and confident as I can, and letting what wants to come out, come out.  Simples.

I am banging out these blogs in a spetty within an hour, so I know they might be rough and a bit all over the place, but I will edit them all later I suppose.  I just wanna capture whats going through my head on this journey, and days.

So yeah, the re-invention is going good and I am finding myself in some old blues songs.  I am happy.  I am in the rhythm of this incredible city, but anyway, I feel I´m repeating myself, so lets put this one to a x

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