Friday, 21 April 2017

The End and The Beginning.

For the last year I have been writing in a journal.  I fell in love with the feeling of filling clean white paper with black ink.  I thought about Egyptian Hieroglyphs and how they took so much time with writing, like an art form.  So I have been trying to write as neat as I can, all my inner monologue and experiences this last year filling many pages and books along the way.  But as a consequence I have neglected this blog a little too much, so I am going to try to get back into the habit of updating it regulary......

It´s been over a month now back in Berlin and the first 3 weeks were so beautiful.  I felt so energised by the experience in Argentina.  The biggest thing was the appreciation of buying good fruit, veg and yoghurt for a few euroes.  In Argentina the prices were hard, and we lived off potatoes and egg, with a bit of salad mostly.  Which I loved!  Eating the potatoes was the highlight of the day after working in the studio.  When I got to Frankfurt and bought some Tobacco, Coffee, Chocolate and beers I didn´t feel the same pain I used to feel in Argentina when buying anything.  It was so expensive there!

I stayed in Frankfurt a few hours before my train to Berlin and enjoyed the clear blue skies and a warmth in the March sun.  Listening to the album we had just made, I felt proud.  Mission accomplished.  Although it was the end of us, I didn´t fully realise it yet.  I took the train to Berlin and watched the landscape fly by, still slowly adjusting to life in Europe again, hearing German around me istead of Spanish.  Feeling a couple of beers inside me I felt the old buzz of Berlin.  I made it to the city and starving, ate a great Gemuse Kebab.

The next morning I went to the Aldi, bought some Red Irish Chedar Cheese (I had been craving for this so much in the desert)  Some fruit, yoghurt, walnuts, avocados and stuff and made myself a breakfast I have been eating every day since.  An Apple, Banana and Kiwi cut up very small, with walnuts, Greek Yoghurt and Honey.  It felt so incredible, a whole bowl of goodness.  After a few hours  practising guitar and piano, I would eat the avocado with some tomatoes and Irish Chedar.  Drink me 2 litres of water and then head out busking.

I knew I needed to be strong here, and eating good food will give you a lot of much needed strength.  I was also riding the bike a lot.  From Steglitz to Warschauer St, a 32 km round trip.  Which made me feel great.  It was a couple of weeks until my birthday and the weather had been beautiful!  Another positive step I made was to get rid of my laptop computer.  It is incredible how many hours flutter away doing nothing at all on that thing.  So instead of getting online, I would draw, write and practise my guitar.

Berlin wouldn´t be so magical for me if it wasn´t for Alice Phoebe Lou!  In those first few weeks I saw her 3 times and her incredible, voice, presence, lyrics and songs blottted out the rest of the world and touched something deep inside me.  Whenever I hear her play she goes through my head for days and days, her voice and lyrics drift on rotation in my head.  I even dream about her!  I think it is because she emits something so powerful, pure and beautiful and it really touches me deep.  I often feel tears well up in my eyes when she plays.

I love her very much, but I imagine many people do and feel the same way.  She has this way of singing, like she is singing directly to your heart.  It is also a curse, because after she has finished.  Nothing sounds as pure anymore.  She is truly a special talent and soul and it makes Berlin even more magical.  It was my Birthday weekend, and the sun had been hot and warm from Friday to Sunday.  It was bliss, and the perfect finishing touch was hearing Alice at Mauer.  Anyway....

Because I wasn´t online much.  I had just been going to the local Sp√°tkauf and logging in for an hour a day.  Nizha found the seperation hard and felt it best we just let go fully.  I knew she was right, it was the best thing to do, but it always hurts when you are seperating yourself some someone.  So I had a few weeks of testing times.  I played an AWFUL gig at Artliners, which was supposed to be our welcome back party.  The noise of the people in the bar was like a hammer to ears, and there is nothing more efficient at blocking out the feeling of a song than a noisy bar.  Felt shit afterwards, but picked myself up and kept at it.

I knew I needed to re-invent myself and find my strength musically.  I was doubting myself a bit, and not making as much as I was whilst busking.  Then I had a great busk at Hallesches Tor, met some lovely people and found my voice and style start to show itself even more.  When I was in Argentina, I was playing House Of The Rising Sun, and for a moment I felt this old blues, strong voice come out of me.  I tried to keep hold of it and find it in other songs but it would drift in and out.  Since then I am getting it out.  Not using the mic whilst busking and really projecting my voice and it´s working!

I got through the end of that dark period over the Easter Weekend, seen some incredible music, met some lovely people and found my positive self again.  It is natural to feel down when a relationship ends, but I kept hold of the feeling that good days are not far away and now I am singing strong with a new style I am feeling on top of the world!  I posted an ad to put together a busking band and had a great response.  So now I am in the stages of putting together the right people to do Berlin in style this summer.

So yeah, here I am.  The Dead Sea Captain.  Finding myself again and feeling very alive in this wonderful city.  Have a listen to the album we made in the Desert.

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